I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
