Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Randomize
