Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
from now on my penis is your penis
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
