i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
