Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize