you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
