two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Randomize