Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize