why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
