mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
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dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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