i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
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