are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
