Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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