You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Randomize
