I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
