the condom got lost in my hair
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize