We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I'm too high and old for this...
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize