girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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