Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
