Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
