Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
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