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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
we're so committed to being not committed
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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