they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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