I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
