Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Are these your boobs on my camera?
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
