he fucked my hip out of place.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
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and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
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not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize