Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
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