He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
