I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Randomize