its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
