Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
A bitchslap is in order.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
