It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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