I'm gonna have a badass scar
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Never underestimate the power of titties
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
