Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
