I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
