I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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