Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
