I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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