If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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