I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
