Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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