Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
