He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
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I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
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I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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