I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
