he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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