We're facebook friends in real life
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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