somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
