all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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