she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
