Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
