she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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