We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
