maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Randomize
