Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
