My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
