she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
