Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
