Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I think my moral compass just broke
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
